Feeling so tired

I feel awful today. Completely drained of all energy. I'm trying to figure out if it was something I ate. I'm pretty sure it was something. My stomach was hurting yesterday, but I don't know what caused it. I'm paying the price today though. I just want to sleep. 

I painted outside today

Tried to paint outside today. To many distractions. Not sure if I like it. I'll see when it dries. I tried a rectangular one this time. Not what I pictured for this canvas but again, lots of distractions and debris flying around. Only managed to get to one. I'll post it tomorrow. (if I don't paint over it) 

I think that I'm not happy to be back. I'm missing CA and the weather and the no humidity and the isolation. And definitely the house. God I miss that house.

Longest flight ever...

Bllllllllllaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh!!! We are only over chicago. Two more hours to go. I only have 45 minutes on my laptop. Dammit!!!. I've listened to three complete albums. 'Nightmare Before Christmas', "Unexpected Dreams', 'Surrealistic Pillow', and now I'm listening to 'Repo the Genetic Opera'. I have it cranked. I'm so bored. I took and aisle seat so no cool pictures to post. 

I played cards for about half an hour. I've tooled around working on the website. I've been trying to name my paintings. Not having much luck.  So bored. Did I mention that? 

The flight crew is nice. Tiny Timmy is one of them. He's about 6 foot 3. Wouldn't want to be tackled by him.  

Wow, so tired and I want real food. I brought some snacks but I want FOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!!!!! :)

I'm sitting with a cute little red head. I'm guessing she's about eleven. Sweet kid. I helped her with her bag. I think it weighed more than her. She had the cute notion it was going to fit under her seat.  It was heavy. She was all concerned about storing it in the over head bin because it was so heavy. 

Southwest five hour flight.

Appently we have a comedy duo team of flight attendants on this flight. It should make the over five ours of flying somewhat bearable. (Or annoying for some) Personally I'm enjoying it. It will make the flight pass quicker. I've been fortunate on the last flight and this one to not have anyone in the middle seat. I was dreading being squished for five hours and not be able to type or move. I lucked out. Most of the plane is full. I guess my weight was a good thing this time. No one wanted to be squished between me and someone else. Yay. I was unable to fully charge my laptop before this flight so at somepoint it's going to die and I won't be happy. I'll manage thought I guess.  

I had fun seeing Sarah perform in Cats. It's so awesome to see dancers keep dancing after high school. She is a sweetie.  

I'm going to put this away for a bit so I can do more later. Try ti stretch the battery life.  

First flight with layover in Vegas

Yay, on my way home. I miss B and the "kids".  Cali was unbelievably awesome. Somehow I feel like it's too good to be true. Like things will crash and burn soon. I got that feeling last night. Probably because I liked it so much that I want it to work out. And before I was trying not to get my hopes up. But there are a lot of options to way before making a final decision. 

I love the house, I love the town. It's small so is a gossipy small town. (I don't like that part.) The studio scares me a bit because I don't want to come in and change to much and lose all the kids, but I think my sister has been a little too lenient in her business. Which is fine because it works, but I like a bit tighter ship.  But I also like the fact that I can walk away from it if I choose. I won't have invested anything into it except my time. And if I don't like it. I can go.

Also the religious factor. The only people I really met were JW's. Seems like a heavily populated area. Which is fine, but when they find out I'm not one anymore then the shit will hit the fan. 

Oh beauteous sight

I must say the descent into Salt Lake City was in my top five of most beautiful things I've ever seen. I can't even describe to yu the layers of clouds and formations. I've never seen anything quite like it. I wish I had pictures. But I was told to put my phone away. The pictures wouldn't have done it justice anyhow.  I did take some pics of the clouds before we descended. I will post them when I'm not so tired. Been on the travel route for almost 14 hours. Very tired. I'm on the third flight to Reno as we speak. I am going to be toast tomorrow. I know it.

second flight

currently on the second flight. Finally. a little squished. It'a pretty full, It's almost a 4 hour flight. So this should be fun. I'm suprised I have room to type. I'm just glad I lost that 35 pounds. I doubt I would have gotten the seatbelt closed. It just barely snaps. 

The clouds are really spectacular looking out of the windo. I took a fw pictures whic I will ad when I land. My next layover is about  a little over an hour. I'm landing in Salt Lake City and then on to Reno where my siter will pick me up. Then we are going food shopping and then a forty minute drove back to her place. I will be a zombie by then. 

My imagination has bee pretty active on these flights. I'm seeing all kinds of picutres in the clouds. IT's really cool. I wish I could capture them and then draw them.  It brings me back  to when I used to lay out side and watch the clouds pass and watch for pictures in them. Well I keep bumping the guy net to me so I'll continue later.


One hour in of my three hour layover in washington-reagan airport. So bored. Stomach slightly hurts from lunch. I hope it does not get worse. I could use a nap about now. It's 3:18pm. I'm watching people wandering aimlessly, not sure where they should be. Two business guys sitting to my right, talking about drivel. and  workers looking as bored as I am. There is no free wifi so I'm no ton line. I can go line with my phone, but am saving that for when I get bored with my laptop. It's relatively empty here. I'm hoping the trend holds. I want a small flight again. I don't want to be squished. 

My stomach hasn't been right all day. Not sure if it was the yogurt or nerves or both. We had a really rough landing. We hit the ground really hard. I'm suprised the landing gear didn't fall off. and then he hit the breaks really hard and everyone flew forward. Good thing for seat belts. It would have been messy. It was a noisy little plane with nice leather seats. LOL  There was a toddler screaming on takeoff and landing. I think his ears hurt. Poor kid. He sang songs for most of the flight. 

First leg of the flight

So far so good. The flight was not full so we got downsized to a smaller plain. Which still wasn't full so I got to sit alone. Yay. No squished Yenney. The baggage compartments are insainle small so normal size bags barely fit. The flight attendants are awesome though. Very friendly and conversational. 

There is no first class on this plane because it's so small. I would be pissed if I paid for a first class ticket. LOL. But I didn't.  We will be landing soon. The first flight is not that long. but I have a 3.5 hour layover in washing ton. I believe. Unless that's Salt lake. I don't remember. So I may be blogging more.  

damn I'm up to early.

3:30 is not my idea of fun. Especially with the long flight I'll have today. I'm hoping I can go back to bed and sleep some more, but currently I'm wide awake. I miss the "kids" already. I dropped them off at Miso's family. I really missed them following me around and Puppy cuddling at my feet in bed. The site will be a little messed up for a few days. I'm transferring the pictures of my paintings to an actual album so they can be viewed larger. The way I should have done it in the first place. (but I didn't read the tutorial :) ) I think I'm going to change the design again too. Back to the original, original and then probably back to the black. I miss the black. This is too foofoo. Yes I said foofoo.

Trying a new look.

Trying something new. Not sure if I like it. Let me know your thoughts on the new look. any comments are appreciated for or against. :)

Miserably grumpy

Didn't sleep well. Haven't really slept well this whole week. It's catching up to me. I still feel like crap. I want it to stop. I wanted to sleep in but couldn't. I didn't want to take my two mile walk but I made myself because it's been a week since I had. I have to say, I feel a bit worse than I did before. I think I'll try to go back to bed for a bit before I have to teach. My period is do today or tomorrow which is just going to make me feel worse. 

Open house for one of my new schools is saturday and I really don't want to be there if I feel this crappy. One consolation is Miso isn't barking yet and hopefully won't start. Yesterday he was awful. (hence the other reason I made myself take the two mile walk)

I'm looking forward to going to CA on tuesday but not looking forward to the flight. I have two layovers so I'll be traveling all day. I will get to see one of my former students in "Cats" in Sacramento though. That will be exciting. It's nice to see dancers keep dancing once they leave high school. It makes you feel like you at least contributed to their success. 

Feeling bored and feverish again.

So I accosted some of you with crazy silly pictures. My apologies. Had a few hours today where I was feeling better. I'm back to craptacular again.  I liked this pic so I'm posting it. 

Photo 240

My buddy "The Greglet" has agreed to try to take professional pictures of my paintings so I can have some good digital pictures. I really want to get a portfolio together. And I want to be able to make prints if I choose. I have already picted out two galleries in Reno that I think my artwork would fit with. However I doubt they will take me seriously because I am not and established artist. I will try non-the less. I am going to do this. I've decided. I also have to do more research on CA prices for art. One gallery want prices submitted with pictures. I also have to come up with a Bio. (snort, cough, laugh) B will definitely be recruited to word it for me.  And hey, if no one wants to buy any, then all of you can look forward to christmas or birthday presents. 

I've never been so sure about trying something new like this. I've always been too self-conscious. I really want to try. I really like painting. Out of all the things I've ever tried. This is the one I want to do. I don't know if I'll ever have the confidence to try to publish my books. I feel I've missed the boat as far as choreography. It's way past my time.  But I really have a drive to paint. So I will. I'll paint and paint and paint till I fill up the house and then I fill up your house and your house and your house. <pointing finger in your direction> And in my spare time I'll make chain mail. 

Okay, so can you explain something?

We are at the beach. It's hotter than hell. The only way to keep cool is to be in the water. (Which most of the population is.) A freak rain cloud approaches and it begins to sprinkle. Droves of people run screaming from the water and huddle under umbrellas and towels. Um...hello... you were just in the water getting hit by waves and a few drops fall from the sky and everyone panics. I don't understand. I really don't . No thunder, no lightning, just raindrops. Explain? I found it all silly and juvenile. 

I keep painting and paninting and...

still feeling sick. I think this antibiotic sucks. Makes my tummy wonky. (wonky is not good)

Still feeling crappy.

Antibiotics suck. Sinus infection and possible strep. Hurray me! Still have mild flu like symptoms, but who knows. I think we are supposed to head off to the beach today. It's a perfect day. But I feel awful.  Miso has been a cuddle bug this week. Not sure if he knows I don't feel well.


feeling crappola.

I've felt pretty crappy all week Monday and tuesday I was so tired and couldn't seem to get enough sleep. Was trying to figure out if it was food or if I'm fighting off some big bad nasty. Today I'm voting on the nasty. I'm all clammy an icky today. Ick ick. Hmmmm...

Finally saw Harry Potter

I was mildly disappointed. I like it but had a few issues. I didn't like the editing, it felt like they cut chunks of dialog and action out to cut the film down. It wasn't always cohesive at times. I also think, if I hadn't have read the book, I wouldn't have known what was going on. I would have been confused. And my biggest problem was a scene they didn't include, which I feel was very important. The students spent all this time previously training in casting spells to prepare them for eventual defense. This movie left out a key battle after Dumbledoor dies. I really wanted to see Ginny kick some ass. It is a great set up for the next book. Oh well. that's my blurb.

Dedicated to...

I went upstairs to paint after a glorious day outside today with my "kids" and after the usual cute AIM messages from B. I looked at my incredibly large canvas board and thought "Wow, what am I going to do with this?" I already knew I was going to use primarily my right forearm. 

 I began to think of all my friends this week that have lost a love one. And then all the friends who have lost loved ones this past year. I am very fortunate to have not lost any loved ones in recent years.  Then I thought of how I would feel if I had. I became overwhelmed with emotion. This is what I painted.

Last Breath


I hope the title won't upset anyone. It's just what I saw when I stepped back. 

My thoughts are with Trisha, John and Ladda, Cindy and Jeff. All who lost someone close to them this week. The painting is dedicated to everyone who has lost someone no matter what religious or non-religious backgrounds we share. No matter what beliefs we have about life and death. No matter what we agree or disagree on. We all feel the same thing when it happens. 


Shhhhhhhh... don't move. Heeheehee Puppy and Miso are cuddling. OMG. I want to keep looking at them but Puppy is like "Hey, we're not cuddling". And I want to get up to get my camera but I know they will move.  Ooooh. Yay. They are sitting in the window 'nugglin' . Oh, I love my kids. I'll take them outside when they are done. I don't want to disturb them. We have a fun filled late morning game of fetch waiting for us.

Call went well.

Wow, we might do this. I hope B's work will let him work remotely. Thing is, we might have to go as early as January. Excited and scared. That is so soon. We could make it work but it would be scary as hell. I'm taking a trip out there at the end of the month to check it out. See if it's a place we want to be. Wow. Funny how things can change so quickly. 

Hey Jeni, we are going to have to cram in some more play time. Painting and margs. :) Hey you guys could come with us. this could be the part of your running dream. Moving on. :) The weather is much like N.E. With the snow and stuff. It's up in the mountains. (I think) 

Well I'll know more at the end of the month. If it will be doable.


Wow!!! I haven't been in a self destruct mode in forever. I think I just needed to blow off some steam. I'm fine today. A little tired and really spacey. (left over gluten haze from the "Oh so worth it and tasty Pizza".) but I didn't get deathly ill like I was expecting.. Just a little bit. I won't be doing that again though for a long time. The craving for Pizza had been building up for about two weeks and climaxed yesterday after a very long tiring week.

Other news. Remember the off my sister made me? Yeah, well we had left it that once they came back in December from Guam we would talk then about what they were going to do. Well I got an email today saying She wants to call me and discuss it tonight. Little bells went off in my head. "Why the rush? Why the urgency all of a sudden?" Then a giant foghorn rang through my ears. "I bet she was talking to my brother.(the one I don't talk about) I bet he is pushing her to us committed and then work his little mojo-scew-jo."

So I sent her an email stating if he was involved for any reason we would decline. Now we just wait and see. She's calling around 7. So there may be another post tonight.

So I decided...

...I want a binge day. I'm sitting here watching barracuda and thinking "I need two days (three would be ideal) to eat all the bad things I want and have one to two days to be sick." Yep. I'll have to work it out. I want to eat myself sick. I know, that is horrible and sounds really wrong. It is., but i[m feeling reckless. I'm sure i'll be over it tomorrow, because tonight it won't happen. (mostly because we are broke) but if it lingers I may attempt it thursday after I sub classes. I'm hoping it won't. I really won't enjoy being sick, but it sound pretty awesome at this point. 


I thought I would be okay. I thought I had worked through it. But I've been crying on an off for three hours.  The place looked so empty.  Almost as if I had never been there. That made me very sad as I was locking the door for the last time. I'm crying now as I try to write this. Miso and Puppy keep bringing me their toys. They know I'm upset but can't process why. They keep trying to share things with me.

It' almost feels like the last six years didn't happen. Like it wasn't real. I don't know why.  But it did. Many happy times and a few shocking and sad times. I'm sad it's ending but I'm also excited about future possibilities. Optimistic about the next ten months (but have a nagging feeling  something is not quite right) I guess I'll know soon enough.

The movers were really sweet and nice. College kids.  I had so much stuff and they didn't bat an eye. (well I guess that's there job) I really feel bad I didn't tip them. I didn't even think of it I was so overwhelmed. And I gave them my very last business check. I guess I just assumed you don't tip them. I don't know why. But I'm going to call tomorrow and see if I can still do it. They were awesome. I feel like a heel.   or