Oh man, what a week of revelations or not. I'm not really in my right mind.

So since my house guest left I've been struggling with some anxiety. As a matter of fact I had one really bad day when she was here. I was all panicky when we went to the San Jose Museum of art. There weren't too many people there so I ended up being fine. I thought I was moving forward till tonight.

I've had some flashbacks with the whole Candace Conti trial. I admire her and think she is such a strong woman for what she did and then I chastise myself for not being that. I wish I had had the courage to do what she did. Maybe I could have saved a few kids from peril. I don't know. I will never know. 

I had a major meltdown tonight. I cried on and off for about an hour. And now again as I'm writing this. By nature, I'm not a hateful person. I pretty much can tolerate or forgive anyone with the exception of my father. I gave him the opportunity to admit and apologize for his heinous crimes and he basically laughed in my face and then nearly flew over the table to strangle me before my step mom walked in on our conversation.   or