It's official

We will be official residents of Santa Clara come august 2nd. I'm very excited. I found a really nice place. I'll miss the scenery hear and really miss my friends that I have gotten close too. (Hopefully there will be nothing stopping them from visiting.)

I interviewed at a dance school less than a mile from the apartment. I'm officially on the substitute list, hopefully they have lots of teacher absences. :) I send out resumes to the remaining schools this week. Hopefully one of them will want me. 

I'm also going to put Miso in doggy daycare once or twice a week. He won't have a yard to run around in anymore and he loves to swim. We took both dogs to the lake sunday and he couldn't get enough of fetching his ball from the water. Puppy actually put his feet in the water voluntarily, but I think it's because he was so hot. 

I think I found an artist group in the area too. I will be checking them out in august as well as a few other local groups to try to make some friends and acquaintances (so I don't become a house hermit)  I'll keep you posted.

In a funk

I've been in a funk the last week. Partly due to all the rain and partly because I'm eating my food triggers. I think I'm also worried about finding an apartment. I don't want to make the wrong choice as far as location and surrounding neighborhood. I'm also a bit stressed about having appropriate funds for security deposit etc... I won't be working over the summer so that will be taxing on the finances. I feel like i'm in a state of limbo emotionally and physically.  Hopefully my mood will lift. The sun just came out and should be out for the week. Theres a new painting on the painting blog.

So I came across this interesting medical condition.

I totally have this. It's Alexithymia. It's the term for not being able to understand or express one's emotions. Another symptom is having very literal dreams. Mine are so uncreative and literal it's silly. I stumbled across this when someone on FB posted an article from "Cracked." Here it is. is the term for not fully understanding and being able to express one's emotions.

I was so intrigued I did a little research. Went to wikipedia.

 I'm not always this way but it's definitely what I call my "shutting off phase". It makes so much more sense now and I actually feel better about it. There are a bunch of other things in there that totally apply to me. It's real and (yes I know I can be fucked up) but now there is a name to it. Sometimes I've been told I'm cold and unfeeling and I really don't understand  how I am that way. Because a lot of the time I truly think I'm being empathetic and kind. Even when I try people think I'm disconnected. Not always but enough to make me wonder what's up.  Maybe that's why I'm drawn to painting. I feel like I can express my emotions there where I can't do it in person. I often feel like I can't identify what I'm feeling. Emotions are a bit muddled. Anyway, I painted about it. I haven't painted in so long.   or