Poor poor Puppy

Poor Pupster. I couldn't figure out why he wouldn't go out of the house yesterday. I dragged him out for a walk and he was fighting to go back in. So we made it quick and came in and he was being all pathetic. 

I said "let me look at your belly are the gnats biting?"

I flipped him over and no lie he had 20 little gnats eating him. I felt so bad. I couldn't get them off so I threw him in the shower. That seemed to work and rejuvenated the Puppenator. He played fetch for a good half hour or so. I think we set a record. Now he's goofed up on benadryl. Poor little belly looks awful.  I think he'll be a pupperzombie today. :( I feel like such a bad mommy.

Sunday morning Zombie

It's 10:22 and I still feel like a zombie. Miso woke me up at 6:30 crying. I think I'm in a benadryl residual haze. I've determined that vodka gives me hive (cheap vodka anyway) I've been on a 30 minute walk and then another 20 minute walk followed by a fetch session with Miso and had a great breakfast so far. Oh and a chat with a friend on line. I'm really ready for a nap. 

It's starting to warm up outside finally. Should prove to be a nice day. Hope I wake up soon. 

I'm in need of a good dose of Jeni. I miss her and can't wait to see her in a few weeks. I feel like we haven't chatted in forever. 

Okay, I'm lay my head down on the couch and see what happens.

Gotta love "The Puppy"

So normally the dogs and I take a 40 minute walk every morning. It takes 40 minutes because I'm usually dragging Puppy. This morning he was practically running. I swear he was like 

"Let's do this Bitch. You dragged me out of a nice warm snuggly bed. It's damn cold. Hurry up we have more cuddling to do." 

So it turned into a 29 minute walk which would have been shorter but I stopped to record some birds. enjoy.

oh, just a wee bit stressed

Okay so we need to sell the condo so we have money but we have no money to fly back and sell the condo. I hate catch 22's. We are behind one months mortgage because we had to buy plane tickets and buy an insurance policy on the condo for the buyer. Our plane tickets also went up 400+ because the buyer made us wait an additional week for financing to come through. 

Now we have may's mortgage and June's mortgage due, plus rent, and credit cards. Oh and no money to pay movers.  Feeling just a wee bit stressed. I will attempt to empty out our storage unit once we get back, hopefully that will help but won't help us get through the next 3 weeks on $17.00. I shit you not.


Mmmm mmm mmm... betty crocker gluten free chocolate cake and frosting. Yum......

Ahhhhhh <happy sigh>

long nap and a cuddle with B. 

ho hum ho hum

blog blog blog blog blog blog blog  blog blog blog. 

I'm outta words. 

Sunday morning

It's a dreary sunday morning but very quiet. It's snowing(which I prefer to rain) It's very pretty. Miso supposedly doesn't have a blockage but he is still having issues with "going". I took him on a half hour walk this morning and nothing then he ate and sat by the door and cried. I took him out again and he ran in circles whimpering and still can't go. Now he's asleep on the floor. Think I'm going to try the canned pumpkin trick. Poor little guy.

Condo is selling in June. Finally. Now the trick will be finding the money to fly home and moving our stuff back. Just don't have it.  I'm sure we will work it out somehow. 

Off to the vet

Stupid, cute, adorable, sick Miso. I think he may have a blockage. Dumb dog. Likes to eat everything more than his food. He was really no himself yesterday. He slept all day and wouldn't eat and didn't even want to play. That's huge. He would play all day if he had his way. 

I did get hem to eat last night finally. His stomach was growling so loud I could hear it all the way across the house. He has not gone to the bathroom yet though and thats usually the first thing on his mind in the morning. He hasn't thrown up either so that might be a good thing. 

Poor thing. :( He tried to play this morning but it didn't last long. now he's got his chin on the window sill and he's watching the birds and looking pathetic. 

The masses have fallen silent.

I think I have scared everyone away. Hey, you gotta take the happy and the sad and the angry and the hurt and the raging Yenney all together. It's goes in cycles. 

Wow, I have no words right now (barely)

Well, like I said before. I knew I wouldn't be happy when I found out how many cases actually had a judicial committee disfellowshipping. Are you ready. Because I'm going to go throw up in a minute. I'm physically repulsed. Here we go.

80% NEVER received any judicial punishment of any kind.  Yeah, throwing up now.

2% were disfellowshipped. 2%!!!! Let me repeat that 2%. 

So explain that to me and you can't tell me that they were all repentant. Those were kept quiet and swept right under the rug. So justify it to me. Please. I can't even understand it. I am so incredibly upset. I thought I was one of a very few this happened too. This is a huge HUGE problem. You can't just ignore it. (well you can but really) 

16,130 people experienced no justice for crimes committed against them. Read that number again and then explain to me how this happens. And you can't say because men are imperfect. It's a cop out. All of my emailers have fallen silent. I hope it's because they are in shock. 


I'm sitting in the bath looking out the incredibly huge window and watching the clouds roll by. I have a candle lit and have used the last of my lavender bath salts. (and yes typing this) I should be happy and relaxed but I am feeling very disillusioned. I feel betrayed and angry and i am crying at the drop of a hat. 

I have not felt this way in a very very long time. It feels so very unfamiliar. I hope I snap out of it soon. I expected to by now. I guess information gathering just hit too close to home. I feel sorry and sad that former close friends will never hear this information or will soon put it out of there heads for fear of ...whatever. I feel very very sad for them and it hurts my heart.

I know in the same token they feel sad for me. Thinking I am unhappy and whatever else their heads have been filled with. But, yes, tonight I am sad but it will pass. I am very very happy I have my life and i wouldn't change it for the world. 

a continuation

okay so I got a bit of flack in saying my case was covered up. but in further research and several emails to more knowing authorities the 23,720 cases on file, mentioned in my last blog-of those 85% were never reported legally. That equals 20,162 incidents of molestation that were never reported to authorities. Explain that to me if you can. I'm taking emails. My mind is so boggled. I waiting to hear how many of those cases resulted in a judicial disfellowshipping. I think I'm going to be quite upset when I find out.

Wow, you want to know the source of my anger and frustration. Here it Is...

This is for my remaining JW friends who still read my blog. This you never hear about. I'm shocked and appalled and yes very angry. I bet you never heard this either.


These are all documented cases. And you know what the really sad thing is tomorrow you will forget about it. (I really hope I'm wrong about that)

Love is in the air.

The chorus of birds this morning was amazing. I heard what I think were 10 different sounds. Some of the birds probably have more than one song but It was so pretty to listen too. The one that makes me laugh is the California Quail. They have such a unique call and a little bit comical. To see them run is even funnier. I saw two yesterday run and hid in some tall grass when they saw us coming. I wish I could describe their movements to you. I laugh every time I see them run. I'll take my recorder out next time so I can record the birds and share it with you. Have a great Monday. 

Poor Puppy

Poor little guy. His entire belly got bitten up by gnats yesterday. I gave him half a benadryl for itching which seemed to work. His belly looks so sore. They seem to have left Miso alone. Though the original spots I found on Puppy look different than the welts he has now. So I'm still thinking maybe he had an allergic reaction to something. He had two many blood red spots that looked like a rash. Today he has considerable less and they look like welts.  Anyway. Poor little guy. 

The task at hand.

So I"ve been putting off washing the dogs for far too long. Couldn't coordinate with the groomer and now have no money to take two dogs anyway. Took them out today on our usual romp and Miso took off chasing a poor little, beautiful bird. When he came back he was completely covered in mud.  

Now I've been avoiding giving Miso a bath because he's a pomeranian. Enough said. Well I could wait no longer. I through him in the shower stall because that the one with the removable shower head and i figured less chance of him escaping. Miso surprised me yet again. He was so good. He did keep shaking and covering me with shampoo (which I neglected to read the ingredients-first ingredient-Wheat, my hands are itchy and on fire) 

I could not believe how much dirt came off this dog. He only tried to escape twice and it wasn't a frantic attempt. He turned around and I was washing his backside and then he tried to back out of the shower. Made me laugh. 

I finish washing Miso and I turn around for puppy and he is desperately trying to disappear into the wall. Poor little guy. Hates to be wet. He cries so pathetically. 

Lots of pondering today

So I was sitting here thinking about the last year and a half. I really hadn't realized how many changes have gone on. (All for the better) I've gone from being almost a shut in to loving life and wanting to go outside. I've done a total turn around in health. I closed my business. I began painting. Moved clear across country. I've lost friend and made wonderful wonderful new ones. 

I've made a fantastic journey and found my place, found what works for me and what doesn't. There are still more choices I need to make and I know I will make the right ones. They won't please everyone, but at least I will be happy in the decisions I make. I have learned I can't please everyone. Trying to only complicates things and makes you miserable. Being miserable is no way to live. We should be happy in what we do and how we live and if we are not we need to make changes so that we are. It's possible for everyone. We can't let fear control us. Fear of displeasing or fear on not being perfect or fear however it's presented. (even sugarcoated fear) We can't be forced into a mold that does not fit. (Unless you are green jello)

I think I've mentioned this before

I love my I-Phone. So I've been playing with a virtual fish. Yep, that's what I said. It's called IQuarium and you have a little fish that swims around and empty tank. You can play with him by tapping the glass and making the air bubbles move around. You earn points for taking care of him and then every so often you get something for the tank. Like a plant, a rock, gravel, a back drop. that's as far as I am. He's pretty cute. I haven't named him though. Nothing seems to fit. I could name him Mr. Limpet. ( loved that movie as a kid ) Hmmm, will be pondering more....

Shades of envy


Goddamn it's cold

Yep, that's what I said.


So I took the princes out for their afternoon walk and was taking in the beauty. There are thousand and thousands of tiny purple flowers all over the ground surrounded by lots of green. I got the sudden urge to paint green. Overwhelming urge actually. We came back inside and I went upstairs and started mixing shades of green. not sure how it will dry. I hope not too dark. I'm using a little different paint than before. I don't know why i wanted to do green but i did. I may add more to it and it may or may not be up tomorrow. 

Dog behavior

It's becoming very interesting to me how different my dogs are. Puppy fits into a stereo typical dog (i think) where Miso breaks all the rules. Accept where play comes in. 

Puppy when he wants to play will sit as far away as possible from me and toys in the room and whine. So I have to guess what he wants. He wants me to go get a toy and throw it at him. Miso on the other hand will bring his toy and drop it on my foot. Or if he wants to annoy Puppy will drop it right next to Puppy and then proceed to bark at Puppy like he stole the toy from Miso.

Puppys Idea of play is to attack a toy and then horde it and chew on it. Miso idea of play is to run and fetch till he's too tired. Hence why Miso is underweight and Puppy  is overweight. 

Anyway, those were my thoughts as Puppy sits across the room and whines and waits. 

Scenes from todays hike

Went to try to hike again. The road was still closed but we made it a bit further than last time. We decided to walk the road for about a mile, till we hit all snow and no road. It was a good hike and I'm so utterly tired. I'm going to fight off a nap though because I know it will throw off my nights sleep. I may make some coffee though. 

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I also think some of my friends and acquaintances have been talking to my mom. I am having an onslaught of letters by mail in the witnessing variety with a pair of earrings in each one. Guess she's too afraid to pick up the phone. 

Photo on 2010-05-05 at 15.57

Anyway at least she can count her time. :) I know she loves me and thinks she has my best interest in mind. I'll just leave it at that.

Hike turned into an afternoon walk do to horkiness.

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Still nauseous

Bleh! gonna try to hike today. Miso and Puppy are presently growling at the Robins in the yard. 

Hope this nausea passes soon. I hate the feeling like your gonna hork any second but can't. As much as I hate horking, i usually feel better afterwards. 


So I got sick from lunch today when we went to Reno. Usual stuff, nausea, stomach pain, itchy skin, foggy brain, bad bad bad headache. So i was starting to feel better. I was helping B make dinner cause my sister and her hubby were coming over. Made it through the salad,  I was fine. Made it through the spring rolls, deliciously fine. B sets down the plate of Masaman curry in front of me (which smelled amazing) I took one whiff and BLAM!!!! running to the bathroom horking. Putting the leftovers away. BLAM!!!!!! running to the bathroom horking. 

Currently sucking down ginger tea with extra ginger. Mmmmmmm. Still a little nauseous. Very weird. 

I guess I didn't want Jeni to feel all alone in her horkiness.   or