Self analysis.

Yeah, coming to more realizations. Namely alcohol. I’m starting to see the subtle affects.  I definitely know it’s hindering my weight loss. I have also been tracking my moods based on when I drink and how much. I seem to be fine if I stick to one drink but when I have more than one I definitely notice I’m more depressed the next day and have way less energy. If I drink several nights in a row I start to slip back into negative patterns and negative thinking. Things I’ve fought so hard to change the last few years. I also see these affects on people close to me when they do similar patterns.  Productivity definitely goes down and negativity abounds. I also noticed I sleep better when I haven’t had more than one. I have a problem with my left leg going numb when I sleep. It’s much worse when I drink.

The biggest realization of all this was recently when we got back from vacation. We were flat broke, barely had money for food and had no money to buy any alcohol. I must say it was one of the best weeks I’ve had in a long time. Both our moods were up even though we were broke. We were both motivated to get things done and be productive, because neither one of us was dragging and depressed. We were smiling and laughing and I saw light for the first time in a while. Funny how quick and easy it is to slide right back to old habits.   or