Okay...okay...okay...I'm befuddled.

I'm watching "Merlin, book of beasts" on sci-fi. Wow, so bad. Okay so Baltar from battlesar is Merlin. Wow, he sucks as Merlin. I really like him in battlestar. (even though he was a prick) he is so bad a Merlin. OMG. I'm so disappointed. 

Oh and okay this is king arthur and somehow Medusa is here. very funny. Very bad. Hahahahahha. Wow. You have to see it to believe it. It really doesn't make much sence.

Bitch session

I love incompetence. How about you? So my costumes for the dance recital were supposed to ship C.O.D in April. I waited. No cosutmes. I called. "Oh do you want us to ship those C.O.D" 


Okay so they do. Now we got a new UPS driver last fall. (He is a boob) I get maybe one out of ten notices that I have a package left at the neighbors. He never leaves them. So I'm waiting for my costumes. Waiting, waiting, waiting. They should be here by now. I call the company.

"Oh, UPS says they tired to deliver them three times so they sent them back." 

I got pissed. I got no notices my package had arrived. So then send them out again. tuesday I get a notice saying "this is your second notice. will deliver tomorrow between 2 and 5."

Okay It was my first notice, but I can be there at 2 and wait. They delivered them at 9:30 and said it was my final notice. I hit the roof and call UPS.

"Someone will call you within the hour."

So I wait. They call me back. It's now about 2:30. 

"The driver has gone home for the day."

On a roll Baby. And it feels oh so good.

10,531. Not bad for three days work. It's breaking me out of my funk. I wish I had the balls to actually submit something. Maybe I should have some surgically attached. I hate rejection and I know I'm not the wolds most talented writer. But I wouldn't mind being the female Stephen King. I have my own little universe. I can make every thing tie back to one thing like he did with the dark towers series. His is all supernatural, mine is all demons and chicks who empower themselves. 

"They" just need to make a vaccine for insecurity. I'd be first on line. Or one for not caring. Oh wait, I think they have a pill for that.

I'm too afraid to let anyone read my stories for fear of them thinking me psycho and the one person who I will let read them can't get past my bad writing skills. 

So I guess I'm doomed to have a laptop filled with lots of books, till i either grow a set or have one sewn on. :) 

The magic is back baby.

Yay writing. Even if it sucks, it feel sooooo good. Up to 6008 words. Not bad. Not as good as yesterday or as quick, but good. 2111 words in about 3 hours. I think I have to make up for lost time. I have lots of lost time. 

Oh I didn't mention yesterday, because I don't believe in this stuff, but my deposit at the bank was 666.00. I laughed. Thought it was funny. The teller gave me a look and made a comment. "Well at least there was no cents." I almost pulled out all my spare change and counted out 66 cents. That would have been funny. I should have.

Just thought it was funny. Tootaloo. 

Oh sadness. How I embrace thee.

So I got an email from my best student's mom. I've taught her for six years. Molded her. Sculpted her into a beautiful work of art. She is happy for me in my endeavors to move forward but her daughter will be taking this opportunity to look for a new school and would appreciate my input as to where she should go. No 'thank you', no "we enjoyed your teaching, thanks for getting her where she is.' Nope. nothing.

I cried. I did. Out of anyone in the dance school. I have put my most effort into her. She's beautiful. I love teaching her. I knew she would move on one day. I was prepared. But to not even get a thank you makes me very very sad. Very hurt. Again I toy with "why are you doing this? You always get hurt. No one appreciates your gift."

Anyway in my depressive, feeling sorry for myself, sad state, I managed to crank out 3,897 words, of a new story, in two hours and twenty three minutes. I think that's a record.

Whew! I feel better already.

Identified the crankiness

I think I have identified why I'm so cranky. I told my dance students my plans for the fall. It got mixed/weird reaction. I honestly don't think any are going to follow me. Which saddens me greatly and makes me doubt myself. I know I'm a good teacher. No I know I'm a better than average teacher. I have given the better part of my life to these girls and it feels like a smack down. I guess they are all the same. Years and years of dancers. You think "oh this group will be better than the last. This group will give me respect. A group that will finally appreciate my talents."

Nope. Not the case. Time will tell. Maybe I'll get that time off after all.  Now I am doubting myself and wondering if I should have taken the teaching position at another school. I'll probably kick myself. But I really want to work with advanced girls. I don't want to do once a week kids anymore. I've put my time in already with that (over 25 years) now I want some payback. :)

Oh well. I won't know till september I guess. Hopefully I won't be cranky till then.


I've been very cranky over the past two days. It passes, but I'm trying to identify the source. I can't put my finger on it. Maybe I just liked having the alone time when Yenney and B were gone. Plus no dogs. Miso has been extra barky and Puppy has been extra needy since they got back. I don't think that is it though. I shall ponder this some more and hopefully get to the root.

My hero


She moves to the top of my Demi-Goddess Page.

New paintings up.

New paintings. The pictures are crap, but Yenney can't seem to work a camera. :)

WooHoo Yenney!!!

Okay, so Yenney is going to kill me. She doesn't want anyone to know this. It was Brians B-day today and she got herself sick from whatever she ate at lunch. So she skipped work and stayed home with him but was a lump of crampy goodness. In seeing B's frustration at 8:30ish and feeling bad that she destroyed his day she said "Okay Sweetie, let's go out. Any where you want."

He said "No you don't feel good"

She lied and said "I feel fine, I'll take you anywhere you want."


"Yep, anywhere."

"I want to go to Marks showplace. It's my birthday.'

"Okay Sweetie, I'll take you. It's on me."

I'm so proud of Yenney. She braved her first strip club. Don't tell her I told you. She's embarrassed and thinks her friends will think she's terrible. But she had a blast. She really did. She is no longer a strip club virgin. We all had a blast.

She was nervous at first but one girl took a liking to her. It was funny. Her stage name was Trista and I certainly would have taken her home. She had some amazing piercings on her chest. Right down the front and she was a Pixies fan which went over well with B because he loves that band to death. So she did a special dance for B and Yenney to a Pixies song. She was cute and broke the tension. 


So I went with my friend Jeni, last tuesday to see her get a tattoo. I wanted to see what it was all about because I really want to get one. My indecision keeps me from getting one because once I get it, i know I'm stuck with it.  I was oddly fascinated in watching them poke Jeni with a bunch of little needles. Considering I hate needles and I hate blood. 

There didn't seem to be to much blood. It was cool to see the transformation from bare leg to masterpiece. He really did a nice job. I'm going to try to steal a picture off her blog. hang on...


There it is. I think it's so pretty. It was also quite fun to watch Jeni's face as the artist got close to sensitive parts. I really didn't know her face could twist up so fantastically. (Sorry Jeni, it was amusing) 

So now I'm all inspired. I really want something original. I asked Jeni to help me design a tattoo that embodied Writing, painting and dance. She gracefully declined but said she would love to brain storm ideas, which she came up with some cool ideas in her stream of consciousness.

Lake Dead

Okay, I'm watching "Lake Dead" on Sci-Fi. Hahahahaha. They keep bleeping the work fuck. It's seems to be a popular word in the first ten minutes. And let me just say the acting is 'phenomenal' (that was sarcastic by the way) 

Any how, I thought I would take the opportunity to tell you how much I love the word Fuck. I don't know why. I just do. I even did the little test on facebook about what swear word you are and guess what? It was Fuck. It's fun to say and it expresses a lot. Especially when you use it like so: Fucketty Fuck Fuck Fuck. Try it. It's fun. It's liberating and it's...oooh so fun to say. Okay to be honest it's the best used in the sentence: Goddamn Mother Fucker. What is more expressive than that? 

I haven't cursed in my blog for a while. So this makes up for it. Fuck!!!. See Fun.


Watching the last half of descent. I love this movie. It's severely edited though on sci-fi. Just waiting for 'Lake Dead' to come on at 11. No clue what it's about but sounds horrifically bad. Yay. Saturday night Bad.

Did some painting with Yenney today. It went well. Lots of stuff, still not done. It felt really good to paint after such a long hiatus. Hopefully will post tomorrow.


Nothing exciting here at the laundromat today. I am being subjected to Judge Karen on t.v. It's amazing to me what people will watch. I wish I could reach the t.v. to change it. It's making my head explode with all the hysteria and high pitched voices  and such.  That's all. I'm going to try to write some more. 

Mildly productive morning.

I managed to squeak out almost 2500 words today. I haven't writtine in months. It felt good but I think I'm tapped out. Hopefully not for another three months or so. Now I'm off to do laundry with Yenney. (oh yay! Oh joy!)   or