Calling all eyeballs.

In desperate need of some new eyeballs. I haven't posted any in forever. Please feel free to help me out. Send some eyeball pics.

Todays word progression...

delusion |diˈloō zh ən|nounan idiosyncratic belief or impression that is firmly maintained despitebeing contradicted by what is generally accepted as reality or rationalargumenttypically a symptom of mental disorder the delusion of beingwatched.• the action of deluding someone or the state of being deluded whata capacity television has for delusion.PHRASESdelusions of grandeur false impression of one's own importance.DERIVATIVESdelusional |- zh ənl| adjectiveORIGIN late Middle English (in the sense [act of deluding or of beingdeluded] ): from late Latin delusio(n-), from the verb deludere (seedelude ).idiosyncraticadjectiveof the great idiosyncratic detectives of fiction, Nero Wolfe is my favorite:distinctiveindividualindividualisticcharacteristicpeculiar,typicalspecialspecificuniqueone-of-a-kindpersonaleccentric,unconventionalirregularanomalousoddquirkyoffbeatqueer,strangeweirdwackywingybizarrefreakishabnormalinformalfreakyfar outoff the wall.
anomalousadjectiveit's an anomalous birthmarkabnormalatypicalirregularaberrant,exceptionalfreakfreakishoddbizarrepeculiarunusualout of the ordinarydeviantmutantformal heteroclite. ANTONYMS normal,typical.
deviantadjectivedeviant behavioraberrantabnormalatypicalanomalousirregular,nonstandard; nonconformistperverseuncommonunusualfreakish,strangeoddpeculiarbizarreeccentricidiosyncraticunorthodox,exceptionalwarpedpervertedinformal kinkyquirky. ANTONYMSnormal.nounwe were seen as deviantsnonconformist, eccentricmaverick,individualistoutsidermisfitinformal oddballweirdofreakscrewball,kookodd duck.
nonconformistnounour college has the reputation of being a haven for nonconformistsdissenter,dissentientprotesterrebelrenegadeschismaticfreethinker,apostate, hereticindividualistfree spiritmaverickeccentric,originaldeviantmisfitdropoutoutsiderBohemian.nonconformistnounour college has the reputation of being a haven for nonconformistsdissenter,dissentientprotesterrebelrenegadeschismaticfreethinker,apostatehereticindividualistfree spiritmaverickeccentric,originaldeviantmisfitdropoutoutsiderBohemian.
apostatenounafter 50 years as an apostate, he returned to the faithdissenterdefector,desertertraitorbacksliderturncoatnonconformistschismatic;archaic hereticrare recusantrecreanttergiversator. ANTONYMSfollower.
Ooooo. Harsh!!!!


Received a package today from a highschool buddy. It was leftovers from her sons b-day party. Train themed. I cracked up. It was great. Thomas the tank picture and connect the dots with crayons, a maze and a fill in the blanks. A train cookie lollipop of sorts, charleston chew (choo choo), a harmonica, a cd with train songs. and a piece of bubble gum stuck to a card that read:


this was my favorite part of the package. I sat outside by the gas fire pit and colored my thomas the tank picture. I didn't finish but came close. the crayons kept breaking. I only had four (blue, red, yellow, green) I took a break and ate the gum in the middle. (the picture was very small Hard to color in the lines) I had fun none the less. Haven't colored in many years. 

Kudos Caren. I bet the party was a blast. Sorry I missed it. 

Wow is Yenney cranky

and yes I'm writing a book on her experiences. She's been working through issues for a few weeks. I think it's good. She's been a bit vulnerable and insecure, but that's normal and will pass. I'm glad she's talking about it freely and not just to me. I'm proud she's been frank and hones with the  several people she's talked to this month. It's needs to be out and not hidden anymore. We are both tired of the secrecy and lies. She needs to move forward and I hope I can help her with that. Stagnant waters only breed malaria and legionnaires disease.  :)  (ps. can't have that now can we?)




lacking anything positive




Cold thought

drifting away

stifled emotion


Untitled Text

Wrestled emotion

secrets past

things kept, things held silent

details hidden take their toll

worn down, beaten up


another word progression

curmudgeon |kərˈməjən|nouna bad-tempered or surly person.DERIVATIVEScurmudgeonliness nouncurmudgeonly adjectiveORIGIN late 16th cent.: of unknown origin.


nounSee grouch. Or See Puppy.


grouch |grou ch |

nounhabitually grumpy person or Puppy rock's foremost poet and ill-mannered grouch.• complaint or grumble my only real grouch was that the children'schorus was far less easy on the ear.• fit of grumbling or sulking he's in a thundering grouch.verb [ intrans. ]voice one's discontent in an ill-tempered manner; grumble there's not a lot to grouch about.ORIGIN late 19th cent.: variant of obsolete grutch, from Old Frenchgrouchier ‘to grumble, murmur,’ of unknown origin. Compare withgrudge .grouchnouninformal an ill-mannered grouchgrumblercomplainermoaner,curmudgeoninformal grumpsourpusswhinersoreheadcrab.verbinformal there's not a lot to grouch aboutgrumblecomplaingrouse,whinebleatcarpcavilinformal moanBrit. whingegripebeef,bellyachebitchsound offkvetch.crab 1 |krab|nouna crustacean with a broad carapace, stalked eyes, and five pairs of legs, the first pair of which are modified as pincers. Crabs are abundant on many shores, esp. in the tropics, where some have become adapted to life on land. • Many families in the order Decapoda, classMalacostraca.• the flesh of a crab as food.• ( the Crab) the zodiacal sign or constellation Cancer.(also crab louse) a louse that infests human body hair, esp. in the genital region, causing extreme irritation. Also called pubic louse Phthirus pubis, family Pediculidae, order Anoplura.• ( crabs) informal an infestation of crab lice.a machine for picking up and lifting heavy weights.verb[ intrans. move sideways or obliquely he began crabbing sideways across the roof.• [ trans. steer (an aircraft or ship) slightly sideways to compensate for a crosswind or current.[ intrans. fish for crabs.PHRASEScatch a crab Rowing make a faulty stroke in which the oar is under water too long or misses the water altogether.DERIVATIVEScrabber nouncrablike |-ˌlīk| adjective adverbORIGIN Old English crabba, of Germanic origin; related to Dutchkrabbe, and more distantly to Dutch kreeft and German Krebs; also to crab .crab 2nounshort for crab apple .crab 3noun informalan irritable person.verb ( crabbed crabbing ) informal[ intrans. grumble, typically about something petty on picnics, I would crab about sand in my food.[ trans. act so as to spoil you're trying to crab my act.ORIGIN late 16th cent. (referring to hawks, meaning [claw or fight each other] ): from Low German krabben; related to crab .crab apple (also crabapple)noun (also crab)a small, sour apple.(also crab tree, crab-apple tree, or crabapple tree) the small tree that bears this fruit. • Genus Malus, family Rosaceae: several species and hybrids, in particular the wild Eurasian crab apple (M. sylvestris), which is one of the possible ancestors of cultivated apples.ORIGIN late Middle English crab perhaps an alteration (influenced bycrab or crabbed ) of Scots and northern English scrab, in the same sense, probably of Scandinavian origin.
Oh, I'm so allergic. You kill me. ;(

through with you.

I thought I was through with you

But you keep creeping back

I put you behind me

But you still have your hooks in deep

I swore you would never control me again

but you are like a root, burrowed in the depths of my being

twisting and tearing trying to keep hold

I cut you out but a piece always remains

waiting, lurking, growing 

trying to take hold at my weakest moments

Why can't I be rid of you

Will I ever be

even after you are dead

will you still have a grip on me


thought I had something to blog about but apparently not.  Not sure what to do for the weekend. Will it be adventurous or sit on my assy. Maybe a little of both.

bored bored bored

bored bored bored. I hate the time difference. Everyone is in bed. Even here. So bored. Trying to think of something creative but am at a loss. I was even toying with playing a video game. I never do that. Bored.  ho hum. sent an inquiry letter to a local gallery. not sure Yenney and I will fit into their style, but their website said they cater to local artist. I got a general canned email back that said they would get back to me ASAP. Their website need some TLC. It has potential to be really nice but hasn't been worked on in a while. They had no info on submitting art so I emailed. 
Apparently there is a Mohawk valley artist league that runs art shows, but I can't find and info at all on them. I've found a few articles from newspapers but no contact number or website. Very weird. (I think they are a myth) 
I Need to get cracking on making my chain mail and chain jewelry. I'll probably have better luck there. 
Yenney can paint and i can make jewelry. Everybody needs jewelry. :) 

Torn asunder

torn in pieces

little fragments

buried deep, to painful to emerge

hidden, protected, shielded, repressed

but still gaping flesh, seeping wounds 

trickle up, wanton

forcibly covered by a mountain of hypocrisy 

insincere, false, deceit, dishonest, pious

Posturing pomposity

a burden carried not of choosing

but not carried alone   or